Jalapeno Cheese Rice

1/4 c chopped onion
1/2 c vegetable oil
4 c water
4 T margarine
2 c rice
3 jalapenos
1 lb Velveeta

Combine onion, oil, water, margarine, and rice in a large pot. Add jalapenos to pot. Cover and simmer on medium heat until rice is tender (about 40 minutes).

Carefully remove peppers from rice. Deseed, chop, and put them back in the rice. Mix well.

Add cheese to pot and mix well.

Barley and Turkey Soup

2 lbs ground turkey
1 medium green bell pepper, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/2 c pearl barley
2 carrots, sliced
1 large potato, cuved
1 can green beans
7 c turkey or chicken broth
1 bay leaf
1/2 t dried thyme
1/2 t dried sage
1 t salt

Cook turkey, bell pepper, celery, and garlic in a medium pot over medium heat until turkey is browned and crumbly.

Add barley to pot; mix well.

Add carrots, potato, green beans, broth, bay leaf, thyme, and sage to pot. Bring to a simmer.

Cook soup until barley is tender (about 30 minutes). Remove bay leaf. Add salt; stir. Simmer for 10 more minutes.

Spam Imperial

1 can spam
1 8 oz. pkg of cream cheese
1/2 c chopped green onion
3 flour tortillas

Chop up spam and combine it with cream cheese in a bowl. Stir in green onion. Spread into tortillas.

Roll up tortillas and slice them. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for two hours.

Mustard Broiled Fish

2 lbs fish fillets
1/2 t salt
2/3 c mayo
3 T Dijon mustard
2 T parmesan
2 t chives

Preheat your broiler. Line your broiler pan with foil (cut slits in it, dummy) and spray with cooking spray.

Put fillets on prepared pan. Sprinkle with salt.

Combine mayo and mustard in a small bowl; mix well. Spread over fillets.

Sprinkle them with parmesan. Broil fillets until top is lightly browned and fish flakes easily with a fork. Sprinkle with chives.

Scripture Cake

Don't know your Bible? Get it out or go here.

3/4 c Genesis 18:8
1 1/2 c Jeremiah 6:20
5 Isaiah 10:14 (separated)
3 c sifted Leviticus 24:5
3 t 2 Kings 2:20
3 t Amos 4:5
1 t Exodus 3:23
1/4 t each 2 Chronicles 9:9
1/2 c Judges 4:19
3/4 c chopped Genesis 43:11
3/4 c finely cut Jeremiah 24:5
3/4 c 2 Samuel 16:1
Whole Genesis 43:11

Cream Genesis 18 with Jeremiah 6. Beat in yolks of Isaiah 10, one at a time. Sift together Leviticus 24; 2 Kings 2; Amos 4; Exodus 30; and 2 Chronicles 9.

Blend into creamed mixture alternately with Judges 4. Beat whites of Isaiah 10 till stiff; fold in. Fold in chopped Genesis 43; Jeremiah 24; and 2 Samuel 16. Turn into 10-inch tube pan that has been greased and dusted with Leviticus 24.

Bake at 325 degrees F until it is golden brown or Gabriel blows his trumpet, whichever happens first. Bake for an hour and ten minutes. Remove from oven. After fifteen minutes, remove it from the pan. Cool completely. Drizzle over it some Burnt Jeremiah Syrup.

Burnt Jeremiah Syrup

1 1/2 cups Jeremiah 6:20
1/2 cup Genesis 24:45
1/4 cup Genesis 18:8

Melt Jeremiah 6 in a heavy skillet over low heat. Keep cooking it till it is a deep gold, then add Genesis 24. Cook till smooth and remove from the heat. Add Genesis 18 and stir till it melts, then cool.

After drizzling this on the Scripture Cake, you can decorate it with whole Genesis.

THE SCRIPTURE CAKE:

Genesis 18:8 “And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them.”

Jeremiah 6:20 “To what purpose cometh there to me frankincense from Sheba, and the sweet cane from a far country.” (Sugar)

Isaiah 10:4 “And my hand hath found as a nest the riches of the peoples; and as one gathered eggs that are forsaken, have I gathered the earth.”

Leviticus 24:5 “And thou shalt take fine flour, and bake twelve cakes thereof.”

2 Kings 2:20 “And he said, Bring me a new cruse, and put salt therein.”

Amos 4:5 “And offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving of that which is leavened, and proclaim free will offerings and publish them.” (Baking Powder)

Exodus 30:23 “Take thou also, unto thee the chief spices; of flowering myrrh five hundred shekels, and of sweet cinnamon half as much.”

2 Chronicles 9:9 “And she gave the King a hundred and twenty talents of gold, and spices in great abundance.”

Judges 4:19 “ And he said unto her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water to drink; for I am thirsty. And she opened a bottle of milk and gave him drink.”

Genesis 43:11 “Carry down the man a present, a little balm, and a little honey, spicery and myrrh, nuts and almonds.”

Jeremiah 24:5 “Thou saith Jehovah, God of Israel: Like these good figs, so will I regard the captives of Judah whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans, for good.”

2 Samuel 16:1 “And when David was a little past the top of the assent, behold, Ziba, the servant of Mephiboseth met him, with a couple of asses saddled, and upon them two hundred loaves of bread, and a hundred clusters of raisins.

Genesis 24:45 “And before I had done speaking in my heart, behold Rebekah came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down to the fountain, and drew: and I said unto her, Let me drink, I pray thee.”

KEY WORDS from the OLD SCRIPTURES:

butter, sweet cane, eggs, fine flour, salt, leavened, sweet cinnamon, spices, milk, almonds, figs, raisins, water.

Resurrection Cookies

You will need:
1 cup whole pecans
1 teaspoon vinegar
3 egg whites
a pinch salt
1 cup sugar
a zipper baggy
1 wooden spoon
scotch tape
Bible

Instructions:
These are to be made the evening before Easter. Preheat oven to 300F.
*** (this is very important --- don't wait until you are half done with the recipe).
Place pecans in zipper baggy and let children beat them with the wooden spoon
to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested. He
was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read: John 19:1-3

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 teaspoon vinegar into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross He was given vinegar
to drink. Read: John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life
to give us life. Read: John 10:10&11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest
into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers,
and the bitterness of our own sin. Read: Luke 23:27

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the
sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to
know and belong to Him. Read: Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.
Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins
have been cleansed by Jesus. Read: Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoon onto waxed paper covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.
Read: Matthew 27:57-60

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.

Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.
Explain that Jesus tomb was sealed. Read: Matthew 27:65-66

GO TO BED!

Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight.
Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read: John 16:20&22

On Resurrection Sunday (Easter) morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read: Matthew 28:1-9

Thank you to: Annie for posting this

Ham and Tater Casserole

1 pkg hashbrowns, frozen
1 c chopped ham
1 pkg sliced cheese
1 small onion
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 c milk

Place 1/2 of potatoes in baking dish with chopped onion, 1/2 of cheese, 1/2 of chopped ham, and add a little salt. Add rest of stuff but put cheese on top. Mix soup and milk and pour over ingredients. Bake for one hour at 350 or until it bubbles.

Leg of Lamb

Get a 5-6 pound leg of lamb with the skin still on. Season with salt and pepper.

Place skin side down on a rack in a roasting pan.

Do NOT add water and do NOT cover.

Roast in slow oven (300 degrees) until a meat thermometer measures 180 degrees. Takes about 30-35 minutes per pound for roasting.

Booze Cake

Because your family might be super dysfunctional and you may need it just to make it through the meal...I won't tell you that the alcohol cooks out. Whoops. Sorry.

1 1/2 c raisins
3/4 c sugar
1 1/2 c flour
1 t baking soda
1/2 t nutmeg
1/2 t salt
2 T bourbon (yeah!)
1/2 c shortening
1 egg
1/4 t allspice
1 c chopped pecans

Cover raisins with 2 c water and simmer, uncovered 20 minutes. Drain, reserving 3/4 c liquid (cool the liquid). Cream shortening and sugar, beat in egg. Sift together flour, soda, spices, and salt. Blend into creamed mixture alternately with reserved raisin liquid. Stir in raisins, nuts, and bourbon. Pour into 2 greased 9" cake pans. Bake in preheated oven at 350 for about 25 minutes or until done.

Hard Sauce

1/4 c butter or margarine
1 egg, slightly beaten
3 c powdered sugar
1 T bourbon

Cream butter, then gradually beat in sugar. Add egg and whiskey. Beat and put on warm cake.

Red Satin Punch

Forgive me for the lack of graphics. Something's wrong with my lap top and I can't access the net...so I am posting this from the desk top (which belongs to my old man and he is funny-graphic impaired).

2 pt cranberry juice
1 qt apple juice
2 liter 7-Up
2 trays of ice cubes made with 7-Up

Chill fruit juices and 7-Up. Prepare ice cubes and freeze. At serving time combine juice in punch bowl. Pour in 7-Up. Add ice cubes.

Ham with Honey and Brown Sugar

5 lb fully cooked ham
1 c pineapple juice
1 c brown sugar
1/2 c honey


Place the ham in a roasting pan. Preheat oven to 350. In a saucepan combine the pineapple juice, brown sugar, and honey. Stir and simmer for about 10 minutes. Pour the glaze over the ham.

Bake the ham uncovered for about an hour or until warmed through.

Candied Sweet Potatoes

6 medium sweet potatoes
1 c sugar
1 stick butter
1/2 c brown sugar

Cook medium slices of potatoes until tender. Drain well. Place in pan. Put butter pats and then sugar over potatoes. Bake at 300 for 1 hour or longer.

Frozen Fruit Cups

1 (8 oz) tub Cool Whip
4 c marshmallows
1 (16 oz) package frozen strawberries
1 (15 1/4 oz) can crushed pineapple

Mix ingredients in large mixing bowl. Line muffin tins with paper baking cups. Fill cups and let stand in freezer until hard. Remove fruit cups and store in plastic bags or covered containers until ready to serve. Serve partially frozen.

Parmesan Chicken

3 chicken breasts (boneless and skinless - we get the big chicken boobies from Sprawl-Mart)
2 T olive oil
1/2 t garlic powder
2/3 c parmesan
1 t Italian Seasoning
1/4 t black pepper
Salt to your likin'
Tomato paste
Spaghetti
Spaghetti sauce

In a bowl combine the olive oil, garlic, parmesan, Italian seasoning, and black pepper. Lightly grease a 9 x 13 pan and preheat your oven to 350.

Put your chicken in the pan. Rub some of the seasoning on it. Add some salt.

In another bowl combine the tomato paste with some water (til it looks right) and add a little seasoning if you want (at least some salt).

Put some on top of the chicken. Put foil over the pan. Put it in the oven.

Bake until the juices run clear.

Make your spaghetti according to package directions. Add sauce.

Eat.

What's cookin' this week...

This week we'll be featurin' all the cute little critters typically associated with Easter...that's right, chickies, bunnies, duckies, and piggies. Oh and some side fixins' too. Toward the end of the week I'll offer great recipes such as Resurrection Cookies and Scripture Cake to pay honor to Jesus Christ for all He has done for me!

Rocky Road Brownie Pizza

That's right. Today I am combining the best foods on the face of this earth...

2/3 c all purpose flour
1/2 t salt
2 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 c butter, melted
1 c sugar
1 egg
1 t vanilla extract

Topping:

1/4 c chopped mixed nuts (optional)
1/3 c milk chocolate chips
1/3 c miniature marshmallows
1/4 c coconut flakes

Preheat oven to 350 and spray a 9" pie plate with cooking spray. Combine flour and salt. Melt chocolate in a double boiler over hot water. Remove from heat and mix in butter and sugar.

Add egg and vanilla to chocolate mixture in pan; mix until smooth. Stir flour mixture into chocolate mixture.

Spread batter in prepared pie plate. Bake until set (about 15 minutes).

For topping mix the topping stuff in a bowl. Sprinkle over brownie layer. Bake for 10 minutes or until pizza pulls away from pan. Cool before cutting.

You could probably cut some time and use a brownie mix.

Glazed Beef Patties

2 T butter
1 1/2 lbs ground beef
3 T chopped green onions
2 T dried parsley
1 clove garlic minced or 1/2 t garlic powder
1 egg
1 c bread crumbs
1/2 c beef broth
1/2 c tomato juice

Preheat broiler. Melt butter in a medium oven-proof skillet. Combine beef, green onions, parsley, garlic, egg, and bread crumbs in a bowl.

Form beef into patties. Add to skillet. Broil until browned - about five minutes on each side.

Add broth and tomato juice to skillet. Broil until beef is cooked through. Remove skillet to stove top.

Remove patties from skillet. Bring pan juices to a boil over high heat. Boil until reduced by half. Pour over patties.

Taco Dip

1/2 lb ground beef
1 can refried beans
1 can tomato sauce (8 oz)
1 pkg taco seasoning mix
1 small onion, finely chopped
1/2 medium green pepper, chopped
1/2 t dry mustard
1/4 - 1/2 t chili powder
sour cream
Shredded cheddar

Cook and stir ground beef in skillet until brown; drain. Stir in beans, tomato sauce, taco seasoning mix, onion, green pepper, mustard, and chili powder. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Spread into ungreased pie plate. Spread sour cream onto ground meat. Top with cheese. Serve with Doritos.

Corn in a Skillet

3 strips of bacon
1/2 c chopped green pepper
1/4 to 1/2 c chopped onion
2 (16 oz cans) whole kernel corn

Fry bacon until crisp. Remove bacon from pain and drain on paper towel. Place chopped pepper and onions in bacon drippings. Cook slowly until onions are transparent. Drain corn and and mix it in with other ingredients. Break bacon into small pieces and sprinkle in pan over the ingredients. Simmer covered for about 20 minutes.

Redneck Caviar

2 pt cooked black eyed peas
2 c Italian salad dressing
2 c diced green peppers
1/2 c finely chopped onion
1/4 c finely chopped jalapeno peppers
2 oz diced pimiento, drained
1 T finely chopped garlic
Salt and pepper to taste

Blend salad dressing with peas. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Chill and serve.

Fruit Cocktail Cake

Okay did I mention that the pictures won't always coincide with the recipe?

1 1/2 c sugar
2 c flour
1/2 t baking soda

Mix those together..

Add a can of fruit cocktail and stir.

Add two beaten eggs..mix together.

Bake at 1 hour or more (you know, till yer toothpick comes out clean) at 300 degrees.

Topping:

1 1/2 c sugar
2/3 can evaporated milk
1 stick margarine
1/2 t vanilla

Boil for two minutes. Cut cake in squares and pour topping over it while it is hot.

White Trash Chili N Cornbread

1 lb ground pork sausage
1 t onion powder (or 1/2 c chopped onions)
1/4 t black pepper (or 1/2 c chopped green peppers)
2 cans red beans (drained)
2 cans tomato sauce
1/4 t salt
Dash of Italian seasoning

Brown sausage with onions and peppers in pan.

Combine all ingredients in slow cooker.

Cover and cook on high for two hours.

And remember

Beans beans
Good for your heart
The more you eat
The more you fart
The more you fart
The better you feel
So eat your beans
At every meal

Cornbread

1 c flour
1 c yellow corn meal
2/3 c white sugar
1 t salt
3 1/2 t baking powder
1 egg
1 c milk
1/3 c vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 400. Spray cake pan (or iron skillet if you have one big enough and it doesn't have a wooden handle) with cooking spray.

Mix ingredients in a bowl. Pour into pan. Put in oven for 20 - 25 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Honey Bananas

6 banananananananas
2 T melted butter
2 T lemon juice
1/4 c honey

Cut banananananas in half lengthwise. Arrange in 9x13 inch baking pan. Combine butter, lemon juice and honey in bowl. Drizzle over bananananas. Bake at 325 for 15 minutes turning occasionally.

Jalapeno and Beef Cornbread Pie

1 lb ground beef
1 c yellow cornmeal
1 c milk
2 eggs
1/2 t baking soda
1 T bacon drippin'
1 (8 oz) can cream corn
3/4 t salt
1 large onion, grated
1 lb sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
5 jalapenos, chopped

Preheat oven to 350. Heat a medium skillet and add beef. Cook, stirring continually, until browned and crumbly. Drain.

Grease a 10" ovenproof skillet (read: cast iron) or baking pan. Combine cornmeal, milk, eggs, baking soda, bacon drippings, corn, and salt in a large bowl.

Spoon half the cornbread batter into prepared skillet. Spread beef over batter. Top with onion, cheese, and jalapenos.

Spread remaining cornbread batter over filling, covering completely. Bake until browned on top and cheese is melted. It takes about 50 minutes...or 1 whole episode of Cops, time to go pee, and grab another beer.

Honey Bun Cake

Boy, now I tell you what...this cake makes the youngins happier than a dead pig in the sunshine!

1 yellow cake mix
3/4 c oil
4 eggs
1 c brown sugar
1 T cinnamon

Icing:

2 c powdered sugar
4 T milk
1 T vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 325. Mix cake mix, oil, and eggs together. Pour half the batter into a round pan. You may wanna grease yer pan first. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle over the batter. Spoon in rest of batter to cover brown sugar and cinnamon. Swirl cake with a butter knife. Bake for about 40 minutes (sometimes longer depending on how good yer oven heats...make sure and put some foil over the rack or use a big pan - cause sometimes this cake likes to grow) until done.

Whisk icing ingredients into smooth. Drizzle over hot cake.

Monster Pot Pie

Brought to you by Mix.

Here we go:

2 cans Campbell's Chunky Stew or Chicken Gumbo
2 frozen 8" pie shells
1 spritz of cooking spray

Preheat oven to 350. Place one frozen pie shell on top of cookie sheet. Pour the two cans of Campbell's Chunky in to the pie shell.

Carefully remove the remaining pie shell out of the aluminum pan and place on top. Sealing sides with fork. Spritz a bit of flavored cooking spray. (I use Pam Butter flavored) on top to encourage browning. Bake for 45 minutes. Serves 6.

Total Cost: $4.57 approximately .76 cents per person.
Prep Time: 5 minutes

Beef Burrito Filling

Beef Burrito Filling

2 lbs hamburger
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can enchilada sauce

Brown the hamburger meat. Drain it. Put it back in the skillet. Add the other three ingredients. Mix it all together to warm it through.

Whoa-la....beef burrito filling.

MacBubba Sloppy Joes

MacBubba Sloppy Joe

2 lbs hamburger
1 can 'mater sauce
1 bottle BBQ sauce of yo' choice
1 t mustard

Cook the hamburger until it is done and then drain it. Add the other stuff to it. Season to taste.

Mad Dogs

Mad Dogs

1 package hot dogs
1 package shredded cheese

Put a slit in each hot dog, but don't cut them all the way through. Stuff with cheese. Arrange on a cookie sheet. Put in oven at 400 degrees until cheese is melted.

K-so-dee-ahs

This is so simple... Ready?

Here's your grocery list...and yes, you can write it using lipstick and paper towel - after all...this is my quick, rednek version:

Boneless, skinless chicken breast
Cheddar cheese soup
Taco sauce
10 flour tortillas
Shredded cheddar

When you get home, put your chicken in a pot that you melted some butter in (or a skillet depending on how much you are making). Add what ever seasonings you want. Cook the chicken until it is done and chop it up. Add the soup (do not dilute it) and about half a cup (less if you want) of taco sauce. Mix it all up. Oh yeah, by now this should not be on hot stove.

Heat your oven to 350 and get your cookie sheet out...a cake pan works too. Warm up your tortillas by wrapping them in paper towel and microwaving them for a few seconds.

Add some of the chicken and cheese soup mix to a tortilla, add cheese, fold in half, and seal with a little water. Put it on the cookie sheet. Repeat until your cookie sheet is full. Bake them until the cheese is melted.

There you go.

Hi Yall

Welcome to The White Trash Cafe. This blog is a spin-off from PRACTiCAL CHiCK AtomiK Kitten, and will host all of the Rednek Kwiz-ine currently over there plus new recipes.

In a nutshell, we live in a trailer in Oklahoma and we live in a trailer park. Since my trailer is fairly nice inside and the kitchen has new appliances (and because no one in my house ever wants to eat the same thing) and since I love cookbooks - we've christened my kitchen as The White Trash Cafe.